I could have killed someone last night.

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.

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But, thank God I didn't. I think I 've just hit an all time low in my life. No, I'm certain of it. I received a call last night from my recent ex that sent me into a downward spiral. Just after I seemingly convinced her that I was doing wonderful without her I proceeded to drink everything in sight at the bar...and then I drove. I spent the night on a cold slab of concrete- No joke. The outside air was just above 40 degrees when got out and it seemed warm. I did push ups for about 15 min just to warm up enough to fall asleep last night. But this is nothing- the least of my concerns. The money and time I will waist in this uphill battle that has begun is excruciatingly ovrwhelming to my mind at this moment. My thoughts turn towards the barrel of my gun, but don't worry, I will never allow myself to do such a thing, but in some way, I wish someone would do it for me.

I crashed my truck last night with a load of drywall on it. If I had hit a car I would have killed someone. In fact, I would have killed several people for sure. Instead I hit a large box truck with a 17 foot bed. No one was injured, thank God. I don't even remember hitting the thing. The first thing that I can recall is standing outside my truck looking at it and realizing that I had just caused all the damage that I was seeing. That truck was my baby. It was going to last me it's liftime. Perhaps it still will. That remains to be seen. I saw it this morning at the pound. Basically the front passenger side of everything under the hood is gone. The engine seems in tact and the frame seems unscathed, however the passenger door will not open. So, who knows. I will have to pay in the area of $1000 to the City of Chicago and the the pound fee just to get it out. Then, we'll see what insurance will cover, if anything. Yes, I'm fucked, to say the least.

You may wonder what 692 is on my hand. I have no idea except for the fact that when they booked me they wrote it on me. Perhaps it's like a club. All I have to do is show them the number on my hand and I can go back in. The service sucks and there was no food to be had. But if anyone wants to check it out sometime, let me know. I have VIP access now.